“IF KIDS KNEW WHAT THEY WANTED TO BE AT AGE EIGHT, THE WORLD WOULD BE FILLED WITH COWBOYS AND PRINCESSES. I WANTED TO BE A PIRATE. THANK GOODNESS NOBODY TOOK ME SERIOUSLY AND SCHEDULED ME FOR EYE REMOVAL AND PEG LEG SURGERY.”

~BILL MAHER

* WE DON’T LET ATHLETES BET ON GAMES THEY HAVE THE ABILITY TO INFLUENCE. SO WHY DO WE ALLOW CONGRESS TO INVEST IN COMPANIES THEY REGULATE.

* WHY IS IT THAT WHEN ARCHEOLOGISTS FIND HUMAN REMAINS, THEY ALWAYS DETERMINE THAT THEY ARE EITHER MALE OR FEMALE AND NONE OF THE OTHER DEMOCRAT-PRODUCED GENDERS?

* HOW IS IT THAT THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION COMPLAINS THAT IT CAN’T CONTROL GASOLINE PRICES, BUT THE WEATHER (CLIMATE CHANGE) IS SOMETHING IT CAN FIX?

* WHY ARE WE TOLD TO LOWER OUR A/C USAGE ON HOT DAYS TO PREVENT OVERWHELMING THE ELECTRIC GRID WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY BEING TOLD TO TRADE IN OUR GAS CARS FOR ELECTRIC VEHICLES?

* WHY IS CANCELING STUDENT DEBT A GOOD IDEA? DOES IT MAKE SENSE TO REWARD PEOPLE WHO DO NOT HONOR THEIR FINANCIAL COMMITMENT BY TAXING THE PEOPLE WHO DO?

* IT APPEARS WE ARE LIVING IN A TIME WHERE INTELLIGENT PEOPLE ARE SILENCED SO THAT STUPID PEOPLE WON’T BE OFFENDED.

* IF AN 18 YEAR OLD ISN’T MATURE ENOUGH TO BUY AND OWN A FIREARM, THEN MAYBE EIGHT YEAR OLD’S AREN’T MATURE ENOUGH TO CHANGE THEIR GENDER.

* IS THIS AN APT DESCRIPTION OF AMERICA? ANDY HAS LEFT MAYBERRY AND BARNEY IS NOW IN CHARGE!

* WHY IS TALKING SEXUALLY IN THE WORKPLACE CONSIDERED SEXUAL HARASSMENT TO ADULTS, BUT TALKING ABOUT SEXUALITY TO CHILDREN IN K-3 AT SCHOOL CONSIDERED ESSENTIAL?

* WHO ELSE BESIDE JOE BIDEN HAD A “MINISTRY OF TRUTH”?

A: HITLER, GOEBBELS & STALIN!

* I ONCE SAW A MOVIE WHERE ONLY THE POLICE AND MILITARY HAD GUNS. IT WAS CALLED SCHINDLER’S LIST.

* IF YOUR ELECTRIC CAR RUNS OUT OF POWER ON THE INTERSTATE, DO YOU WALK TO A CHARGING STATION TO GET A BUCKET OF ELECTRICITY?

* WHY ARE WE RUNNING OUT OF MONEY FOR SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE BUT NOT FOR WELFARE, ILLEGALS AND THEIR FREE COLLEGE?

* MICE DIE IN MOUSE TRAPS BECAUSE THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THE CHEESE IS FREE. THE SAME THING HAPPENS WITH SOCIALISM.

Author unknown. Hat tip to “Helen Herd”.